forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
