weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize