so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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