just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
