Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
