Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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