It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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