I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I think people are normalizing furries
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
