I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
