I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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