I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize