nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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