i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
