The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
