my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
