every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
