My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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