hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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