I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
