I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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