i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
