Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
