Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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