i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
honey bunches of taint.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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