Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize