end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
