hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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