I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Randomize
