Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
