Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
