Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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