But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
