just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
