It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
