i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
