I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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