I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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