woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
