if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
