brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
