I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
