so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
