i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
