This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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