Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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