I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
