Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
