so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
