I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
