Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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