i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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