please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
