i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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