did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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