I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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