Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
