That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
