I wannas sexs uuuuu
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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