I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
