just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
only if we run a train.
done.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
