Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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