Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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